A Second Chance
by demetrapaige
Summary: Everyone wants the ability to go back and make the right decisions. Will it be as they imagined?
1. Chapter 1

He sits there, the same place that he remembered landing the first time this happened. A place in time that they both share. Although, much to his pleasure, her request was better carried out than her summoning. As he looks up he finds the roof intact, as well as everything in the room, stretching out he realizes that he is in the same position as before...

_I've been summoned by a peculiar little master._

Surely she would force death upon him if he repeated the same offense. In fact, she hadn't been peculiar. She had been the world, but he never spoke those words to her.

The light patter of feet as they approach what must be his location. She throws the door open, the reveal being more than he could have actually imagined.

She stands there, dressed in their colors, but the outfit has changed. The same black skirt type exists, but sinfully shorter for him to observe. The thigh highs thankfully still commit to her service, but the shirt has changed to a casual red tee that clings to her skin, showing more of her body than heaven and earth can handle. A sight that reveals she has aged to a womanly perfection while he was away, and he is in turmoil for the thoughts that cross his mind.

_Desire for her, a need for her, a jealousy of not seeing her grow, a sorrow for leaving her to begin with, a love for her that Death cannot seem to seperate_.

Her annoyance grows as he remains lost in thought, only being snapped back by the furrow of her brow staring at him.

"Archer... My summoning was far more correct...I know that you are here. The house even remains intact, so some of your memory must have as well". Her annoyance seems to only have gathered momentum with his silence.

He closes his eyes, looking down, only to summon a simple smirk and a nod.

"I'm glad to see that your age has afforded you the capability to adequately summon a hero this time."

He expects to hear the running of footsteps, a punishment he is all to expecting, but instead finds nothing. He goes to open his eyes only to see her vastly approaching his laxed position on the chair. Archer quickly stiffens and begins to calculate the possibilty that this is merely an alternate universe, not a continuation.

She delicately approaches him, a smirk crossing her face as she realizes how off guard he is. She lifts one leg and gently places it on his thigh. She seems unsteady and out of reaction he places his hand upon her right side, affording her the balance she lacks. The sensation of once again feeling the soft form of her body against the rough of his calloused hand sends electricity throughout him. She continues her climb and rests herself on his lap, a friction and contact of dreams that has become a reality. She reaches into the pocket of the skirt, now painfully short for Archer.

In one swift move he seems a gleam of red and silver before the object passes from sight and disappears. He feels the cold of it contacting his neck as the weight adorns him.

_The jeweled necklace I returned_.

It sits beautifully upon him as she looks delicately at it. She seems proud and another emotion he doesn't recognize as seeing openly on her face. She smiles before staring into his eyes, or rather his soul. Those aquamarine eyes taking everything he hides with their gaze.

"Rin-"

A finger upon his lips.

"I waited for you. I am sorry I lost you the last time my Archer. This time..." Her breath is caught in her throat. "It won't be the same".

The Master he left behind was far younger than what he sees before him; her youthful innocence having given way to the desire of womanhood. The way she used to be could have been mistaken for cold, but he understood it to be a protection from pain. The woman in front of him though, lacked every defense he had known. Her heart was completely open.

The stare they had been sharing, dissecting the information between each other disappated to the wind as they neared each other, their faces already nearing enough for her to feel his breath gently caressing her face as she wished his hands would. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, she felt the skin of his face contacting hers and their lips embrace in a way that they had spent so much time longing for. The release of that tension between their lips, a frozen moment in time for them, one that cemented a defintion of this second chance.


	2. Chapter 2

They sat there, eyes locked long after they pulled apart. The moment slowly catches up with them, completely unaware of what world they are experiencing together, or if they are even still in the same universe.

"Rin... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

Before he can complete his explanation, a smile slowly crosses Rin's face. Her smile assures him of what just happened; it wasn't an imagination or something incomplete. She simply leans forward and places her face on his collarbone; her head tucking perfectly underneath his head. Absentmindedly, he runs his hand down her hair before running his fingers through it.

The past years, holding onto that necklace and never letting it leave her sight. She kept the wall up around her heart to prevent the pain of someone leaving again, and allowed herself to feel it again in losing Archer. She made a vow, after the tear stains had dried and her pain started to ease enough for sensibility, that she would not lose him again. Finally, a remedy presented itself.

The pendant that he returned to her.

The pendant that returned him to her.

_Their pendant_.

Archer can feel her content. She isn't stressed, worried, or yelling. Instead, he finds a calm and collected young woman in his hands rather than an irrational and worried child. She gently rests a hand on the pendant. Archer finds himself remembering the weight of it, having felt it for so many years before he returned it to her. It makes him feel complete. She takes in a deep breath before Archer hears the words quietly escape her mouth, brushing against his neck enough to give him shivers.

"I've never let it out of my side. Never. It has stayed by my side these years".

Archer can't help but smirk.

"I didn't take you for a nostalgic Rin. You always have been interesting when it came to things. What a wonderful Master to keep me so entertained".

He feels the light press of a finger upon his lips.

"You don't have to call me Master this time. We meet as equals. We are simply two people, getting a chance to fix the mistakes that were made once before."

Archer stops for a moment, fully understanding the implication of her words. They weren't bound by a contract; their moment here was born from something they shared: a need for the other. Years of work and preparation, all set aside for the ability to bring him back to her. The regret of losing her once before overpowers him and makes him lose track of his thoughts. Nothing exists in this moment other than Rin and himself. The world merely stops for them in this moment.

She feels a pressure on her chin. Archer's warm, strong hands gently grasp her hands as if she is a fragile doll. He guides her up before embracing her in another kiss. She feels more passion and longing in this than the last; the moment taking her breath completely away as she finally pulls back.

She begins to protest as she feels a movement, a slight gasp escapese her mouth. Archer's agility allows him to gracefully stand up, while gently wrapping each leg around his waist. She presses against his body and she can feel him slightly growl, Archer seeming more animalistic as they continue. His body seems warmer now that she is firmly encassed around his body.

Archer slowly reaches a hand and places it at her lower back as the other holds her hair out of the way. She feels the casual elegance that is the pace of Archer; the movement almost unnoticeable. Archer leans down and begins to kiss up her neck beginning from the opening of the shirt to the very tip of her ear. She feels him smirk as she begins to breathe harder.

He feels Rin slowly begin to writhe under his hands, unable to handle the sensation coursing through her body. Her voice reaches his ears with a breathy sound, grazing them as he imagines her delicate hands would.

"Archer..."

As the words escape her mouth Rin finds them to be more of a plea. She begs him to be with her, something she has wanted far longer than she has been capable to show him. Years of sleepless nights, considering the multiple paths life could have taken, considering the way that his skin would have felt against hers...things that have made years seem as if they were an eternity.

Rin feels Archer slowly pull back, a small nibble at her throat. She gasps at both the nibble and the feeling of his hot breath as his breathing staggers against her neck. The breath gently rolls down her neck much like she wishes his lips would again, resulting in a shiver descending through her spine. She feels his place slowing down as she collides with something behind her. The thud from her impact and his reaction tell Rin all that she guessed was true. They are pressed against the door to her bedroom. She feels Archer lean close, his breath gently passing her ear and forcing her to gasp.

She hears words leave his mouth, their tone desperate as if holding back.

"Rin...I need you..."


	3. Chapter 3

The softness of skin touching. The youth and innocence of Rin slowly slipping away to a far more adult and realized woman. The haphazard way that the red clothing lays on the floor, thrown in a whirlwind of passion, tells of how much longing has existed between these two; a longing that mirrors one centuries of dreams and desires.

Her white skin almost looks like a pearl next to his darkened skin as they trace over each other, intertwining in ways that speak volumes. His hand slowly curving the lines of her body as they whisper pleas and promises between heavy breaths and passionate kisses. The Archer, once a very solemn and determined fighter, now was lost to his emotions. His movements showed a determination for and ownership of the young lady beneath him; a demonstration that shows just how much Archer had been craving the young woman beneath him. His body trembling with each slight touch of her hands and breath. Each small action forces him to grunt and move quicker; the motion forcing forward more sweat and force from the Archer's body. Her body responds, furthering the drive and want of the Archer.

Their bodies intertwined physically, yet the subtle emotion on both of their faces betrays them and shows how desperate they have been for this moment in time..They are intertwined mentally. Years of dreams between the two finally coming to fruition, and the need being realized.

Their desperate grasps at each other, pulling closer as if they begging to become one entire person quicker, show the need and importance of this moment. A moment that cements the bond and contract between the tall, muscular dark figure and the gentle, pearl skinned girl; a contract that bonded far more than what the heroic spirits of the Holy Grail War typically offer.

The scene awakens some emotion that had long been forgotten. Unsure of where to place the feeling, the Blue Lancer returns his gaze from the scene to the moon brightly in the sky, his perch on the tree becoming uncomfortable now.

He had made the promise..

_When you are older_...

Returning to the world this time, unexpectedly, Blue Lancer found himself aching for the young girl with the flowing ebony hair and determination that was unrivaled. She had always presented herself as someone that would achieve her goals no matter what, and he had admired that.

_I saved her...from so much_.

The feeling in his stomach grew worse. The Red Archer had betrayed her, left her to Shinji and Kotomine. There had been so much danger for her, but the Archer had no real design in saving her; he had left her behind. He had walked away from her in every way, betraying her for his own ambitions...a sin that was unforgivable.

He had no reason to share this moment with her; he didn't deserve it. He had no right to her. The Red Archer, removed from his typical red arm and bare to the world, still held secrets that troubled the Blue Lancer. The Blue Lancer stood up, his unease motivating him. He bounded off skillfully back towards the town, to the home he had gotten for himself.

As he jumped, Lancer quickly found himself realizing what the emotion was he had felt that entire time...

_Jealousy_

Lancer laughed to himself. He had not experienced jealousy in many years. Lancer had vowed he would live his life to the fullest once he had returned to this era... He had traveled quickly to the home of Rin in hopes of speaking with her again...a feeling he had longed for since he had last seen her. A longing to just say one more word, one more word that would speak everything he had come to feel for the young magus.

He'd live his life the way he wanted, and he would not allow Archer to stand in the way of his happiness...not after his actions last time.


	4. Chapter 4

He carried her gently to the bed, the moment being solidified as he had always imagined. She felt softer, but not lighter. She gained muscle, something sturdy while she waited for him. She had spent her time making herself stand strong while he was gone. He understood that she had needed strength, just in case the pain came back...just in case she had really lost him. It made this all the more painful but exhilarating. He wanted to prove to her that she meant everything to her, that this would be the end of all of her pain. He would never let her be hurt again.

Archer gently laid her down, the moment being far more surreal than they had ever imagined. His hands gently glided over every inch of her body. The gentle way that he removed her shirt, all the while keeping his lips collided with her between breathy promises. Promises of forever, of pleasure and happiness, promises that they needed...

Rin felt his hands begin to glide against her skin, his hands being far hotter than her body temperature. The heat colliding with the cold felt as if steam was going to rise from their body. Rin slowly arched towards Archer; a smug grin crossing his face. She felt her mouth open to reprimand him for his careless display, but she found a finger delicately placed over her lips.

He carefully began removing her bra, delicate of every inch of her body. His hands carefully ran around them, tracing every inch of the area surrounding her breasts, delicately teasing them. Another smile graced his lips before as Rin watched. Finally, his warm hands finally touched the cold of her skin, skin that had never been touched by anyone else, saved for this moment. A gasp escaped her mouth; her body arched and reacted to it. The kneading of her breasts sending her body into a reaction she had never felt before; her face being flushed red. She felt him watching her, and she turned her head as far away to try to hide it, somewhat embarrassed by the way that she couldn't handle this small action.

Archer watched as Rin turned her head away, and he focused his attention equally on the other breast. Only to make it worse for Rin; he slowly ran his tongue over her breast, as gently as he could hold himself to. Rin stretched, almost pulling away from his mouth as quiet moans escaped from her mouth. He began to suck, finding more reaction from her body as she struggled to breathe. After a few moments, pleas from Rin's mouth, faint traces of her name across her lips, he felt her hands tracing up his back and undoing his armor. As it slowly slides off, she carelessly threw it to the floor, piling on top of the red shirt on the floor. The mixing of clothes resembling the mixing of their bodies; intertwined in a way that seemed to endlessly tie them to each other.

Clothing fell carelessly from them as they rushed towards their dream with hunger on their lips. The moment seemed to last forever, and quickly at the same time. The care with which Archer held her, promising that she was going safe, that he would always protect her, solidified the bond; a contract of their very own.

The beginning was difficult, both trying to find footing in the rhythm. Rin quickly found the pace of Archer's hips, the feeling sending some new sensation through her body from deep inside of her. She found herself begging for more, begging for one more touch of skin, one more motion, one more sensation...to never let this moment end.

The caress of his calloused skin, worn by years of battle and abuse sent shivers down her spine. Every inch of her ached to feel his touch, to feel his skin writhe against hers. With every motion, she felt sweat bead down his skin intermixing with the sweat that was starting to gather on her skin. She felt every inch of him colliding against her, and it made every single fiber of her body shiver until she felt her body begin to build to a pressure point.

As he watched her body begin to shudder, small gasps escaping only quicker and quicker. Archer could tell what her body felt, and Archer finding his body shaking from the tension, a strong wave about to break within his body.

* * *

And then he was gone... It was nothing. That is what hurt.

The nothing.

He was there. There were so many feelings, so many hopes...Suddenly, he was just gone and there was no response. He was just gone, no real good-bye. Words had been spoken, but they were never truly from him. It was never the words that he would have said. Never the words that they should have said.

She screamed the words long after he was gone, long after the crimson had disappeared, long after the symbol that tied them together faded away.

She practically screamed at the silence. The pain feeling as if it needed to vocalize; if it could have taken shape, it would have been daggers. She screamed pain after pain at him until her throat was raw...until she lost her voice...until she lost her feeling and footing. She fell, screaming at the floor. She begged for understanding and for reason. She begged for him back, and she begged for someone to listen to her tears. It felt as if everything was taken away from her; every feeling and emotion was taken out; everything was replaced with pure pain.

Sitting in the cold of the shower, letting the water hit her as she felt the water intermix with the tears running down her face. She couldn't feel the pain anymore. The cold water had burned her skin when it hit her; the pain reminding her that there was something still real in this world...her pain hadn't completely taken everything from her.

Slowly, she noticed the water was all from the shower head. She had run out of tears to cry anymore. He had just left. He shouldn't have. She should have done more to be there for him. She should have been the one that saved him; the one that kept him here...Yet, he was gone, and she sat here..alone

Each day finding the pain a little manageable, but pain never leaves; it only finds a different place to live. Walking around the house, finding that the routine of always having him to talk to and be there was gone. It was as if he had died or simply never existed.

The pain was unbearable. The world was cold, and she knew that there was so much left unsaid. There was so much left for them, yet she wasn't able to let it go like this. She cried, vowing to never let this pain go away. If she did, she would never stay motivated to bring him back or keep him. If she let these daggers stop stabbing her, there would be no hope to remember the great of him.

The pain always begs you to remember the small moments when you smiled, and she smiled so much thinking of the small things he did or said for her. The complaints, the fake insults, and the small chores he always did to keep her able to get through the day.

She would regain her Archer...her Red Archer...the one that she had so much left for; the one that she had so many memories left to make with.

_There is no hope._

There is hope.

_He is gone forever._

I will get him back.

If there was anyone left in this crazy world, anyone good enough to get this done, she would be able to get him back. She would make up for all of this lost time, and she wouldn't be making this mistake. All of these next few moments, hours, days, months, years would be spent getting Archer back and keeping the past from repeating itself. She would never feel this pain again, and she would never lose her Archer again.

* * *

Tears slowly slid down her cheek as she laid there against his chest, his arms holding her tight against him. His warmth keeping her so comfortable and safe against him. All the struggle, all of the pain, and screaming was worth it. She remembered that feeling and realized how much better it felt here in his arms.

She felt Archer slowly slide his hand to her face where he began to catch her tears.

"Rin, is something wrong?"

She smiled. He had done much to her, but questioning if she was alright was new. She expected a witty response.

"No..I'm happy..." Rin smiled and closed her eyes, trying to burn this moment, this night, into her memory.

Archer smiled at how quickly she fell asleep, assuming that she finally felt safe...and exhausted. Archer smiled. All of those moments spent without her, wondering if she would even remember him or if he would fade into oblivion, seemed so meaningless compared to this moment. This was the moment that winning the war would have been for, and he hadn't even felt it before now.

She looked so beautiful while she slept. It was a peaceful that he would fight the world to protect. For all that she had been through, she was gracious enough to share this innocence with him, to share a trust where she could be at peace with him. Archer felt something really new to him. He was a guardian...a guardian to this woman, to this moment, to this peace.


	5. Chapter 5

_Normally, I don't dream. I don't sleep either...However, I passed out immediately after everything, as if all these years of sleepless nights have caught up to me. What strange dreams though..._

The world was far different. I was smaller as if a child, and I was constantly buzzing around. I felt tiny and nimble, a feeling I hadn't quite remembered in a long while. I remember a younger girl being there. She had purple or black hair...I couldn't quite make it out. A portion of it was pulled back. She reminded me of someone. I couldn't quite place it.

Then, the younger girl was just gone. She was no longer there. The room was lonely. Everything seemed lonely now. I maintained my typical activities, but everything felt a little dull since the other girl had gone. A simple explanation made it hurt all the more.

_She's no longer your sister._

_What did that mean? It was all that he had heard from the other people he made contact with. It hurt, but he couldn't argue with it...something told him that it wasn't his place to argue about such things. This was the way of the world._

The next thing I saw was a familiar face, at least it felt familiar even though I didn't quite recognize them. It was a taller man with dark hair and some interesting facial hair. He was talking to a younger looking Kotomine; that face I would recognize until the end of my days. That ruthless so called "priest". I came back out and saw my luggage, and I was dragging it towards the door. I was angry and hurt. Slowly, the priest came down and offered assistance. I preferred to yell at him scolding him to protect someone before running out the door with an older woman.

The moments after that were scattered and uncertain. There would be moments of happiness: playing in parks, reading books, and other childish things. They didn't last long though...They were fleeting with moments of fear and concern. The older woman looked more and more frail, and then there was the day where just pain happened. There was a funeral service. The event was too painful to last very long. It just...hurt.

After that it was just a blur of things, and then I saw nothing. I was alone...completely alone. There was no one, and I knew that there never would be anyone. I held my hurt and turned it into determination. Everything was not going to be in vain. I had a goal to achieve, and I would do so. I had responsibilities and obligations. Archer didn't understand this, or their motivation. Most would easily have crumbled under a life where they were constantly at siege with such adversity and difficulty.

_It was a weird experience... I saw myself in that dream as a different person._

It was true. Archer had seen the meeting of himself, but from the perspective of someone else. He had even seen his betrayl, his death, and his disappearance. He felt a pain that he hadn't felt. It was loneliness and desperation. It took his breath away and made him feel weak. The world had great gravity on him, and it pushed him down to feel that way. Afterwards, he felt the same pain again: the loneliness. However, this time it was marked with a new determination, an unwillingness to lose.

_What was so important? What was worth all of this pain? Why was it worth risk of feeling the same pain again? _

He fought to remember more of the dream, the need to have answers being his pure motivation. He plugged through all of it until he finally remembered something that he had forgotten. It was a small moment that was almost fleeting in the dream, but it was so important in recollection.

It was the delicate hands he recognized first before seeing what they held. There were tears filling the hands as they grasped to the treasures within them, as if holding them would make something real again. It was two pendants, exactly the same in make. Red triangle shaped gems at the end of an ornate silver chain. It was the gem that Shirou had given back to her, both of them. She was holding them crying, but you could feel the favoritism towards one. It was a little more worn than the other, as if it had seen more battles. You wouldn't recognize it unless you had the comparison before you. It was the one Archer had given back to her, the one that he had kept for so long.

The delicate figure, one he knew so well, dropped the other before grasping the worn gem close to their heart; tears began to fall like rain, and the pain seemed to only stab harder.

_Rin..._

Saying it only made it more painfully true...Rin had hurt so much at his account, more than he knew. Suddenly, the dream was closed... all Archer could feel was warmth on his body, radiating him back to consciousness.


	6. Chapter 6

Archer slowly awoke to a new mixture of feelings. He felt the warmth of sun striking his body from the windows facing him, the warmth being welcomed and something he had neglected to praise enough before now. As he tensed to raise his body he felt another pressure on his body; something else that was warm held him captive in his spot. A quick glance down, and he found the source of the warmth and pressure. It was a delicate girl with skin like marble, yet it somehow felt like silk. She was gently laying with her head on his chest, and she had both arms wrapped around him. It was like she was holding him to remind her that he was real, and she was preventing him from leaving again.

He ran his hand over to her head, gently placing his hand on her head for a moment. A light noise escaped from her mouth before a smile creased it. This moment was something new and delicate for him; he had never seen Rin so peaceful and content before. It looked as if she had an inner peace she had never felt before. He gently looked at her and smiled; he remembered what was worth fighting for in the Grail War before...it was moments like this where you are reminded of the better things in life, such as the angel on his body.

Distraced by her during this moment, he slowly ran his hand through her hair. He was committing this moment to memory. His hand slowly fell through the black silk hair she had. It felt so gentle compared to the rough of his own skin. He was a warrior. His hands were accustomed to blood and weaponry; this gentle set of feelings gracing across his skin felt as if it was sin, something that he should never feel. He was a killer, but he sat here in the sunlight with what appeared to be an angel taking a mild nap before she simply returned to Heaven.

Archer couldn't shake the unsettled feeling in his stomach. Something was still wrong with this situation, and he couldn't seem to figure out what it was. Slowly, he lifted one of Rin's arms and gently placed it on the bed. With some genle coaxing, she turned over and began to sleep facing the opposite way; his presence seeming to have been confirmed enough that she would finally release him. Hoping that maybe it was just the sudden way that he had appeared, Archer quietly moved from the bed and entered Rin's bathroom. He ran a shower for himself and began to think, trying to figure out what was bothering him so much at this moment.

However, no matter how much he sat there and thought, he was distracted; memories and thoughts he didn't know were flooding his vision and clouding him. He felt pain, fear, and lonliness on a level that he had never felt before. Suddenly, he couldn't really think. The images flooded his mind. He was still trying to grasp his footing and regain his senses, and these memories that were completely unreal to him were not helping. He stood there for what felt like hours just letting the water hit his body and hoping for some clarity in the gentle feeling.

Somehow he found himself no closer to peace. He walked back towards Rin's room noting the scene. He felt happy, yet there was something else bothering him. He slowly walked towards his clothes on the floor and considered if they would be casual enough for him. He picked them up and then forced them to de-materialize. His clothes were only manifestation of mana, and he didn't need that for now. Gently, he exited the room and continued to a room just a little down the hall.

_Rin told me that they had stored some of her dad's old clothes in this room..._

Quickly, Archer found what he was looking for, a closet full of clothes for a male. There wasn't much to it other than the color red shirts and suits. However, he found one pair of black pants and a black button up shirt. He delicately put the clothes on, fully aware that he was touching artifacts that would be so valuable to Rin whether she admitted it or not, and then walked from the room.

_It will take some getting used to, but regular clothes aren't that bad. These are a little tighter, but I imagine that Rin's father wasn't as muscled as I am. _

Archer giggled slightly. He didn't even imagine Rin as muscled even though he had seen it with his own eyes. When he was in charge of her, she was this delicate young girl still stumbling through the rough times of high school. On top of that, she was alone completely, and she was a magus. All of these things came with a terrible price for a young girl, and the thought pained Archer. It wasn't fair that she had endured so much so early in life. He had endured quite a bit, but he had died for it. He knew that she had much ahead of her, and he knew that she hurt. He was all too aware of Rin and what this had done to her.

With all of this weighing on his shoulders, he walked out of the home heading for the heart of the town he knew so well.

_I need to figure this out and staying here is not helping..._


	7. Chapter 7

Rin awoke with a weird feeling in her stomach-something wasn't sitting right already, but she couldn't face it. Everywhere felt cold. Rolling in the bed sheets to her right, Rin tried to find some source of comfort and warmth...something that had been there all the moments before now. Her body shivered from the cold that she felt.

_Archer? _

With a quickening of her breath, Rin stood up in bed, holding the blanket close to her body.

"Archer?"

Still, there remained nothing but silence. She was lost and starting to feel panic setting in. _Surely I would have heard the shower if he had started one. Maybe he is somewhere else in the house...He wouldn't just leave. I need to calm down...Maybe take a shower after last night._

After last night... She couldn't deny that something very important and desired had happened. However, she may have aged, but she had no idea how to deal with the new aspect to her relationship with Archer. Something would have changed doubtless, but how they would handle it she had no idea.

Rin got up and quietly walked into her bathroom. There were signs of it having been used, but there was really nothing else to notice.

_So, he obviously took a shower. At least that means I didn't imagine last night...I'm not crazy, and I just need to calm down... He has to be around here somewhere..._

Rin ran a hot bath for herself, pouring Jasmine and other fragrances in the water. It was an attempt to force her body to calm and pace itself. She was jumping to conclusions. Archer couldn't have just ran off like that...

_I said that the last time, and he ended up disappearing forever._

Rin took deep breaths. She sat in the tub and let the water flow over her; its rising heat seemed to slowly bring her feeling as it escalated. She was feeling comfortable again. Her body was beginning to attempt to relax. There was something on her mind that she had ignored until now; her mind being overtaken by the fear before now.

_What was I dreaming of last night?_

Rin couldn't place it. She had never had a dream like that before. It was completely surreal, and it honestly didn't feel as if it were a dream. It felt like a memory, and it didn't feel as if it were her memory. It was something far more personal to someone, but she was struggling to remember it.

_What was it? There was something important in it...Why can't I remember? _

She struggled, searching her brain for any thought; she felt as if she were grasping at shadows. She pressed her hands to her temples for a moment.

_Think Rin... you can remember this..._

Slowly, the dream from the night before began to trickle back into her mind, becoming more and more vivid as she remembered it.

* * *

Rin was standing in the rain. She couldn't feel it on her body, but it was easy to spot. She could imagine how cold the world was. As she examined the darkness around her, she realized that she was in a graveyard. It disturbed her a little, and it brought back memories she hadn't cared to really revisit. However, she felt a presence in the distance, a little to her north, and she began walking towards it.

As she neared where her feet seemed to carry her with determination, she began to feel an extreme feeling of loneliness and something else... She walked until she saw a figure bent over in front of an effigy in the grave. It was near the edge of the graveyard, and it was a beautiful statue. It was an elegant display made of beautiful marble. However, she couldn't make out the name on the grave. She didn't dare to really near it though; the person at the grave seemed to be very deep in thought, and she didn't wish to disturb someone having such an important moment with a lost loved one.

Rin neared a little closer, just to make out the figure. She could only see a man in all black standing at the grave, looking down at it. He seemed to be just standing there, thinking.

_The loss must have really pained him... but why does this really matter to me? _

She looked around to see if maybe she was to notice something else, but couldn't find anything. Her silence was broken by the sound of movement. The man had begun to rest on one knee in front of the grave and was talking to it. She couldn't make out the words that were being said, but she could see that he looked distressed. He stayed like that before punching the ground near the grave. He sat like that for a moment before standing up again. He delicately ran his hand over the name on the stone before leaning against it. He quickly turned around and headed off to his right. Rin followed the man with her eyes until she saw him get on a motorcycle and ride off.

_I can probably near the grave now..._

She attempted to walk towards the grave, curious as to who it belonged to, but she couldn't get any closer. The more she tried, the more she seemed to be farther away from it. She grew frustrated, but never tried. She began running, but it never seemed to matter; the grave was always farther away. Much to her dismay, the scene began to disappear from before her eyes, as if it was fading to black. As it did so, Rin became distraught, but she noticed that the feeling of loneliness and its unknown counterpart had disappeared.

Finally, the black that surrounded her gave way to a new scene. She was in a battlefield. It was obvious from the appearance of it that there had been a great fight. There were bodies strewn about, and there seemed to be a group of uniformed men versus what seemed like regular people. Some great fight had occurred here, and it mirrored many that she had seen in history books.

_What happened here?_

She could feel her feet leading her towards a building in the distance. The building looked like a facility, and she was apprehensive of just strolling into a building during a battle. The atmosphere carrying a pressure that only comes from many willing to die for a cause, all determined for the battle.

Despite her complaints, she couldn't stop from entering the building-her entrance being far easier and less dramatic than she feared. Rin found herself feeling loneliness and the feeling she couldn't place just yet, but she also felt a small amount of resolve.

_What is this? Who feels all of this at one time?_

Confused by the scene, she hadn't noticed that her feet had carried her up a stairwell and into a large room. It seemed to be an office that had a lot of technology within it, but Rin didn't think too far into it; ahead of her was the man that she had seen in the graveyard. She felt pain from him, and she knew it was more than physical. She watched from a distance, afraid of what she was seeing.

The man, somewhat hidden by some shadows, delicately reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper. Actually, from Rin's spot, she could see that the small object was a photo. The man smiled at it before gently caressing a specific part of the photo. A single tear fell down his face as he tilted his face back. The man clinched the photo before talking a small amount. He grabbed at the center of his chest, not far beneath his neck, with his other hand. He seemed to feel a sudden peace, and, in its absence, Rin recognized the other feeling: regret.

She listened as she heard a single, "I'm sorry" escape the man's lips before he transpired. He felt to his knees and collapsed on to the floor face first. Rin instinctively ran towards the man, but immediately felt as if she shouldn't have. She felt something and saw the photo on the ground next to the man. She quietly reached and picked it up, trying to do no damage to something that was so valuable to him in life. The picture was a wedding photo, but it seemed like a candid and informal one; the kind that you see the photographer take when the couple isn't paying attention. It was the man (although she couldn't make out the features, Rin assumed it must be him) and a very elegant, beautiful woman. They were smiling at each other, and Rin felt overwhelmed by the photo. It was as if someone had captured love in a picture. You could tell that this moment and nothing else mattered to these people. They loved each other in a way that Rin envied.

_What a shame that he lost her. This photo doesn't look old either, so it had to have been recently too. This is tragic... Why am I seeing this? _

Rin quietly set the photo down, not wishing to see anymore. She felt grief so badly that she wished to leave. She hated this feeling and had done everything to overcome it. Its return was unwelcome. The scene began to fade to black, and she took one look around again. She felt calm in the fact that she was leaving this scene, but scanned the room to see if she could recognize anything. Surely, there was a reason that she had seen this. Before the room faded completely, she took one look back down at the body beside her. She saw a chain from his neck.

_He must have clinched the necklace...that is what I saw._

She looked closer to see a silver chain, a little worn, leading to something. For a moment, she thought she saw the jewel at the end of the chain: a single red jewel.

_No... I'm imagining things...There is no way._

Rin opened her eyes quickly.

_It cannot be._

She quickly drained the water and grabbed a towel, hoping to get some answers.

"Archer? Archer?! Where are you?"


	8. Chapter 8

With an ease that she had never shown before, Rin delicately jumped from the tub and began searching for Archer. She didn't really hear any response. It was weird. Although Archer had been an independent servant, if she really yelled for him, she always felt as if he would respond to her. She might have been making assumptions though. She couldn't help but feel a little foolish.

_So many months of waiting to be by his side again, to see him again, and now I lose control of myself whenever he isn't around. I need to calm myself._

Rin quietly walked to the closet, finally acknowledging that yelling in a towel was not the ideal way to look for someone. She still had some sense of sanity in this situation. She took one look at her closet and decided against it. After all of these years, she had recognized that she didn't need to always dress in her unique outfit every time, especially if she didn't feel as if she was leaving. Instead, she walked toward the dresser in her room and grabbed a simple outfit: jean shorts and a plain, white t-shirt. There is no way that she would have done this when she had met Archer before, but a lot had changed since the time he was last around.

_Surprisingly, I have learned to relax a little. Something that would surprise anyone. It surprised Shirou when I started unwinding a little bit. _

Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Archer had definitely left an imprint on her. She had learned to appreciate things, and gave herself a new determination. This new determination made everything else seem as if it was something that got in the way. Rin giggled to herself slightly.

_This whole situation is just unreal... but those dreams...If they are Archer's, we are going to have to talk about the dream._

Rin shuttered thinking of how awkward and uneasy this was going to be. Archer wasn't one for having deep feeling conversations where he told of his life story. In fact, she knew now that he had lied about his memory. He was doing it simply to get to kill his younger self, so why would he want to tell her the truth of everything right now?

_There is no way he is going to be willing to sit down and tell me his life story._

She sighed. This was going to be harder than expected.

_I have to know though. If I don't, I 'll never forgive myself._

Rin straightened herself up and took a few deep breaths. There was no way that she was going to let him get away from this and there was no way that she wasn't going to get an answer from him. She walked to her door and headed out, hoping to get to search the house quickly. Halfway down the hall, an interesting smell hit her. It smelled as if someone was cooking in the kitchen. She stopped, and her heart began to pound again. Rin had only accounted for the terrible considering how it followed her in life, but there appeared to be a genuine good continued, following the smell as it led her to the source, until she reached the dining room. There she saw something that caught her breath. There was a bouquet of red roses in the center of the table and a breakfast laid out. Archer was standing next to the table, as if he was displaying it, and holding a hand out towards the chair. Clearly, he wanted her to sit down and eat, and he was going to play butler for her. He looked at her a moment while she stood there, unable to really comprehend the situation.

While she stood there Rin saw something that she hadn't really accounted for. She saw a faint emotion in Archer's eyes, and she was surprised by it. She saw genuine vulnerability. It looked as if he was gauging her reaction, and he really cared whether she accepted him right now or not. Quietly, she walked towards the seat as he pulled it out for her and pushed it in. The food smelled delicious, but she wasn't quite accustomed to this.

Archer watched as Rin neared him. He could smell the jasmine scent that she always emanated far before she neared him. He was breathless. She was in the most casual of clothes, but it pulled at his very core. Her simple presence was enough of a sin to make his body ache. His breath quickened as she neared, but he kept his face as straight as he could. Should she reject him, at least he could have some dignity.

Rin quietly neared the table, hoping to entertain him slightly. He had always taken care of her, and she imagined this was Archer's way of showing some affection without have to come out and be public with it. He struggled in that arena, whether he wanted to admit it or not. She sat down, and simply looked at everything before reverting to the only answer that she assumed would feel comfortable between them.

"Last night didn't happen so that you would cook me breakfast." The tinge of sarcasm tasting as familiar as air between the two. Their little ticks were so intertwined now that it was a version of code for them.

Archer stood there, as if he was trying to interpret what she said before the typical smirk crossed his face.

"Trust me. I didn't do it to get to cook you breakfast anyways."

Rin thought she heard the faintest chuckle from him as he slowly retrieved a plate and sat it before her, allowing her to get her own food from the selection in front of her. It looked delicious, but her mind couldn't comprehend the situation. She couldn't act normal right now, too much had happened. Rin couldn't imagine eating right now, it wasn't what she needed to do. She placed her silverware beside the plate and looked at Archer, meeting his gaze with unwavering determination.

"Archer, I had an interesting dream last night. Actually, it didn't even feel like a dream...it felt like I was seeing someone's life...someone's memories..."

Rin could read a slight furrow in his brow. Although he tried to hide it, Archer was a little disturbed by what she had said. Clearly, this wasn't going to be an easy conversation, but it was a necessary one. If they were going to venture any further in this, they needed to be completely aware of each other...

"I have as well." Archer's attitude gave off an atmosphere of general unease. It felt as if he didn't care about the topic, but you could feel how heavy the air had suddenly gotten.

Rin knew she hadn't hid it well. She hadn't thought of Archer being able to see what she had stored in her brain. The panic had limited her to thinking only of what she had seen, not what he had potentially seen. Suddenly, her body was filled with adrenaline and worry. What did he know about her? What had he seen? She felt naked in a new sense, an irony not lost on her.

"What did you see Archer?"

He smirked. "I'm more interested in what you think you saw Rin."

She crossed her arms, a staple of Rin Tohsaka's anger. She furrowed. Whether she liked it or not, she had learned how to play Archer's game. She would give him her story, and then she would hear what he had to say. Whether she liked it or not, this was the best way for her to figure out the answer to her questions.

Rin sat there, calmly recounting every moment of her dream to Archer. She admitted that she never really saw the man's face within the dream, so she could only account for what she did see. Archer sat calmly listening, but he never really looked bothered by what she was saying. She couldn't read him in fact. If she had to guess, he had the same nonchalant face that he always had; the one that looked as if you were not saying anything very important, but he was listening out of respect...maybe listening. As she finished her story there was only silence. She was confused and a little hurt. She had expected a far different response from the hero, her hero, but she gauged nothing but silence for the moment.

Archer gave her a look as if she was a child and needed to hold her place, but she sensed it was out of pain not anger. He didn't want to visit that place again, but he knew she wanted him to. He had avoided this for so much with her. She was the momentary escape from all of that pain. Here, he could forget about what had happened. He could exist for a span of time as if things had not changed. There were differences in this time, but he felt as if he could breathe easier and feel the world against his skin again.

"I assume that you are asking me this because you are wanting to hear the words from my mouth, not because you don't know the answer to your question. You are smarter than that, so that is all I can infer."

Rin started to open her mouth to ask questions, but something different came from her. She slammed her hand on the table. "Dammit Archer! I have shown you so much. I have given you all of my trust and respect, and you sit here mocking it. Please."

Archer was completely taken off balance by Rin's reaction. He had never seen her react like this. The young magus had always stood as a statue to represent the honor of the Tohsaka family line. However, she was slave to her emotions during this situation, and Archer was unable to comprehend it. He had always seen her as a elegant and collected individual. Yet, the woman in front of him was passionate about this, and she was not trying to hide it.

A lot had changed about Rin Tohsaka over the course of the years, and she couldn't handle someone being close to her without being honest. She deserved that much from him, whether she liked it or not-she deserved that much.

Realizing that he had lost the battle, Archer sat his cup down and looked at Rin very decisively-a look that struck through to Rin's core. "Yes.. That was the last day of my life."

The blunt answer took Rin by surprise. She had no idea that he would be willing to just answer her question. She had expected to have to fight for the answer, but it was something that just came out of his mouth. It felt as if he was trying to make it carry no meaning, but she could tell that the words came from his mouth as if they were steel.

"You won't tell me anymore about it? You are going to leave me with all of these plot points but no real story Archer? I deserve at least that from you after everything."

He looked a little uncomfortable at the idea, but she didn't detect him arguing. It was surprising her how much Archer was willing to work with her, and how he was withholding the defenses that he normally had.

"Fine." He sighed. Really, Archer was never one to tell stories of himself, and you could read the discomfort and unhappiness in this moment. It was thick, and Rin could cut the air with a knife if she had to.

"I was at the grave of my wife. That is what you saw. She had died a month beforehand, fallen to some enemies that I had made. I simply couldn't handle it, and I went to clean them out. I was going to get rid of evil and a little bit of vengeance I won't deny that. Afterwards, I infiltrated their main headquarters, left a trail of bodies behind me, but I didn't get everyone. A man shot me before I got my first shot on him. I was hit bad, but I finished him off and made my peace with life before passing."

Something hurt Rin about the cold manner he was talking about this in, and what hurt more was to hear him talk about his wife as if it was some casual topic. It burned her to hear the words in her ears. She had never thought of Archer as being a married man, and she valued that bond far too much to not be hurt by her current position.

"She was enough for you to die for, but you come here and completely forget about her? You act as if she never existed?!" Rin felt herself getting angry. Her voice wasn't raised, but it was sharpened at Archer. Her eyes had been clinched shut as she felt tears welling up, but she opened them slightly to see that he looked hurt. He was angered and hurt, something that surprised her and made her think about what she said-though, she didn't want to take it back.

Archer wouldn't meet her gaze, it was too painful for him. After everything they had both been through, alone and together, this was the hardest battle for them to overcome. He hurt to remember the gaze of that beautiful woman that he loved so much. She had beautiful eyes and it inspired him. She always encouraged him and loved him wholly; she treated him like a hero, but only because of who he was not what he did. His actions were nothing; she believed him a hero for loving her. It always felt as if the world had given him the greatest gift in life with her, and then he had to lose her. It was easy to go into that suicide mission after that. The one life that had meant so much was added to his sins, and he couldn't handle that.

"No. I never forgot about her. I still cannot forget her. I never will. She's in my dreams every time I close my eyes. She was always there. I get to relive every memory and fantasize that she is alive, and then I get to remember that she is dead. I have to feel the pain of losing her again every time that I remember my loss. I got her killed, and she meant everything to me. I hadn't even been married a year to her. I came back to rid the world of Emiya Shirou, so he couldn't get her killed. I had realized that you always leave a trail of bodies when you try to get rid of evil, but you can't get rid of it. You can spend your life trying to kill every person you think is bad, but it won't get rid of evil. People will still do evil things, but you can't account for everyone. It is a foolish ideal to think that you can be justice and the hero that you want because it just cannot exist. I am sure that I looked like a bad guy to some and a great man to others, but it wasn't worth it. The pile of bodies behind me, especially hers, was not worth everything I did and received for getting rid of those people. I can spend eternity repenting, and only hoping that she will someday forgive me. Then, I will have peace."

Rin was unable to answer. Everything he said was far too much for her to comprehend. It was the most sentimental and significantly important thing she had heard Archer ever say. Each word felt like it had an emotion behind it, and she could read on his face that this meant something to him. She had no idea that there was this much pain hidden behind Archer and his life. She knew that he had suffered and continued suffering, but she never imagined the depth of it. She felt embarrassed and childish. She had not thought about what everything meant for him, but she had felt free to condemn him beforehand.

She felt as if she was the other woman. She knew it was childish-she was jealous and afraid. There was something dishonorable about having the love of a man after that kind of loyalty. It seemed to taint everything. The world felt heavy, and all she could do was began to cry. There was no sound, just silent tears that fell from her face. They said a million words that she couldn't even try to say. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She felt mute. Everything seemed a shade different now. Rin stared at Archer.

"Who was she Archer? Who was your wife that you lost?"

Archer felt pain. She knew nothing, and he had held so much from her. Now, it all seemed to be affecting her at once, and she wasn't able to handle it. So many years of despair and so much more. Suddenly, her mind was collapsing trying to handle everything. As he saw tears form and fall, he felt his heart begin to race. Fifty different emotions from regret to longing for the ability to comfort her fell through him. Rin silently rose from her seat, turning to exit back towards the door. Archer, without a second thought, chased after her. In a few steps, but what seemed like forever, he gently grasped her wrist. She turned towards him as he wiped a few falling tears from her face.

Archer looked at her contemplatively for a moment, seeming to gauge whether or not he truly wanted to answer Rin's question. Slowly, he made his face gain composure before returning to his typical solemn look. He rested his hand on hers instead of griping her wrist, while the other quietly traced the lines of her face.

"You."


End file.
